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Author Topic: elephant Jokes  (Read 698 times)

Laxadanto

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elephant Jokes
« on: February 28, 2016, 07:15:24 PM »

 A  travelling circus comes to the village of Ballygobackwards, and while it's there  doesn't the elephant escape? It  trundles through the village till it comes to Paddy's potato patch, where it stops for a quick snack.
Paddy's neighbour sees it eating his potatoes and goes rushing down the street to tell her friend, Mrs Murphy.
'Mrs Murphy! Mrs Murphy! Sure, there's a terrible big monster in Paddy's garden and isn't it pullin' up Paddy's potatoes with its tail?.'
"Glory be to goodness!' Says Mrs Murphy. 'and what in heaven's name is it doing with them?'
'Ah, Mrs Murphy, if I was after telling you that, sure, you wouldn't be believin' me.'
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Poddy

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Re: elephant Jokes
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2016, 07:37:28 PM »

What is that brown stuff oozing out between an elephant's toes














Slow moving pygmies
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Re: elephant Jokes
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2016, 07:49:27 PM »

How does an elephant hide in a strawberry patch?











=> he paints his toenails red!
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Laxadanto

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Re: elephant Jokes
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2016, 08:09:35 PM »

What's grey on the inside and coloured on the outside?










A tin of cream of elephant soup.
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Icyfroth

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Re: elephant Jokes
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2016, 08:17:35 PM »

How do you get 4 elephants in a VW?












2 in the front and 2 in the back
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chickaboom

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Re: elephant Jokes
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2016, 08:26:37 PM »

What did Tarzan say to the elephants
When he went past the strawberry
Patch?
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Re: elephant Jokes
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2016, 08:32:27 PM »

Why don't you ever see an elephant hiding in a tree?







=> Because they are very good at hiding in trees.
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Icyfroth

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Re: elephant Jokes
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2016, 08:35:36 PM »

How can you tell an elephant's been in the fridge?










Footsteps in the butter
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Re: elephant Jokes
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2016, 08:46:10 PM »

Elephant says to a camel: "You should do something about those big humps on your back."

Camel says to the elephant: "That's rich coming from someone with a big penis in the middle of their face."
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Poddy

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Re: elephant Jokes
« Reply #9 on: February 28, 2016, 09:20:41 PM »

Why don't you ever see an elephant hiding in a tree?







=> Because they are very good at hiding in trees.

Nah it is because all the trunks blend in
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I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant

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Re: elephant Jokes
« Reply #10 on: February 28, 2016, 09:29:16 PM »

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?





A => Time to get a new fence...


Podds, your punchline to my joke reminds me of one about a holiday - elephant packing it's trunk - can't remember it tho LOL
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joz

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Re: elephant Jokes
« Reply #11 on: February 29, 2016, 03:27:21 AM »

A very old elephant and young mouse came across each other for the first time:

Mouse: "What are you?"
Elephant: " I'm an elephant"

Mouse: "Aren't you big"
Elephant: " Yes. What are you?

Mouse: " I'm a mouse"
Elephant: " Aren't you small?"

Mouse: " I, I, I've not been well"
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lightningdance

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Re: elephant Jokes
« Reply #12 on: February 29, 2016, 09:47:45 AM »

Why do elephants drink so much?
To try to forget.
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Laxadanto

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Re: elephant Jokes
« Reply #13 on: February 29, 2016, 01:36:52 PM »

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
For stamping out burning grass.
Why do elephants have big feet?
For stamping out burning ducks.
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